It's been known for years that sex is good exercise, but until
recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of
different sexual activities. Now, for the first time in the Western World,
here are the true caloric benefits of sex.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With consent....................... 12 Calories
Without consent.................... 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up......................... 112 Calories (I can't imagine how they do this!)
Wheelbarrow.......................... .. 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories (anyone knows how to do this?)
ORGASM:
Real................................... 112 Calories
False.................................. 315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately............816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over.............................Death
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
