The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five..
Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.
Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?"
Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.
"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00.
If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself.
Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."
As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the
necklace.
Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up.
She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed.
The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath.
Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.
Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"
"Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you."
"Then give me your pearls."
"Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She's my very favorite."
"That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.
About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"
"Daddy, you know I love you."
"Then give me your pearls."
"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."
"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you."
And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.
A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian style.
As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.
"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"
Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy.
And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, daddy, this is for you."
With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure.
So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasures.
Isn't God good? Are you holding onto things that God wants you to let go of? Are you holding on to harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits and activities that you have come so attached to that it seems impossible to let go? Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand but do believe this one thing ....
God will never take away something without giving you something better in its place.
The greatest gifts happen when you share love and touch others.
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
how to keep a healthy level of insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/ sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3 Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
4.Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5.Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors rendered".
10. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
11. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13. Don't use any punctuation.
14. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
16. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17. Sing along at the opera.
18. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
20. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them whatyou're doing.For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom in Stall #3."
21 Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
22. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23. Call 411 and ask if 411 is for information.
24. Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
25. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!","I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27.When leaving the zoo,start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28.Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
29. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
30. Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"
31. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity...
32. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3 Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
4.Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5.Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors rendered".
10. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
11. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13. Don't use any punctuation.
14. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
16. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17. Sing along at the opera.
18. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
20. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them whatyou're doing.For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom in Stall #3."
21 Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
22. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23. Call 411 and ask if 411 is for information.
24. Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
25. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!","I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27.When leaving the zoo,start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28.Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
29. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
30. Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"
31. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity...
32. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
great ways to burn calorie
It's been known for years that sex is good exercise, but until
recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of
different sexual activities. Now, for the first time in the Western World,
here are the true caloric benefits of sex.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With consent....................... 12 Calories
Without consent.................... 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up......................... 112 Calories (I can't imagine how they do this!)
Wheelbarrow.......................... .. 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories (anyone knows how to do this?)
ORGASM:
Real................................... 112 Calories
False.................................. 315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately............816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over.............................Death
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of
different sexual activities. Now, for the first time in the Western World,
here are the true caloric benefits of sex.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With consent....................... 12 Calories
Without consent.................... 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up......................... 112 Calories (I can't imagine how they do this!)
Wheelbarrow.......................... .. 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories (anyone knows how to do this?)
ORGASM:
Real................................... 112 Calories
False.................................. 315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately............816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over.............................Death
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
The Buffalo Theory
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole herd is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates.
Only those few that stick to the strict regiment of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved during their college years.
So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge, we must not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars. Quaff that pint
Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have. Take life by the bottle and be all that you can be!
sampung utos ng maglalasing
1. Huwag MAKULIT habang umiinom.
2. Huwag MATAKAW sa pulutan.
3. Huwag PATAGALIN ang BASO at mayroong naghihintay.
4. Huwag lang uminom nang uminom kailangang BUMILI ka rin.
5. Uminom ng diretso sa TIYAN at huwag sa ULO.
6. Huwag biglang MAWAWALA sa inuman. MAGPAALAM kung uuwi na.
7. Magtira ng PANGLAKAD kahit hinlalaki ng paa.
8. Huwag MATUTULOG habang umiinom.
9. Siguraduhing sa BAHAY ang UWI kung lasing na.
10. Huwag MATAKOT sa ASAWA o syota.
In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates.
Only those few that stick to the strict regiment of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved during their college years.
So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge, we must not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars. Quaff that pint
Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have. Take life by the bottle and be all that you can be!
sampung utos ng maglalasing
1. Huwag MAKULIT habang umiinom.
2. Huwag MATAKAW sa pulutan.
3. Huwag PATAGALIN ang BASO at mayroong naghihintay.
4. Huwag lang uminom nang uminom kailangang BUMILI ka rin.
5. Uminom ng diretso sa TIYAN at huwag sa ULO.
6. Huwag biglang MAWAWALA sa inuman. MAGPAALAM kung uuwi na.
7. Magtira ng PANGLAKAD kahit hinlalaki ng paa.
8. Huwag MATUTULOG habang umiinom.
9. Siguraduhing sa BAHAY ang UWI kung lasing na.
10. Huwag MATAKOT sa ASAWA o syota.
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